It's the third day of 2008 and I have decided on my word for the year. I did some major thinking and a little soul searching over the past few days.
My word for this year is content.Dictionary.com defines it as satisfied with what one is or has; not wanting more or anything else. Content to me means happy, but it goes so much deeper than happy. I mean I can be happy anytime---I'm happy my heater worked today in the 21 degree weather; I'm happy that my Ann Taylor cords still fit; I'm happy I don't have to cook tonight. To me happy focuses on the little things---and yes while the little things are important, the big picture is more of my concern. See, I have become very materialistic in these last years--very money driven. It's sad, I know. Web works in an industry that is very lucrative, but it can change in an instant. It also caused him to work 3, 4 and 5 hours from home. We, as a couple, are "live in the moment". This can be good and yes, can be bad at times. But the money has always been a factor. If he is making excellent money, then things were fab. If it was a down time, then it was really a down time. Instead of focusing on what we had at that time, we were always looking for the next great thing. Instead of enjoying the moment, we were forcing ourselves to see what we could have when the next big job rolled in. We....I.....never stopped to relish what we were in at the down time.
Right now we are in what I see as a down time. We made a conscious decision late last year to sacrifice some of our lifestyle so that he could be home full time and we could be a family. At the same time, we decided to buy a new house. It's been a struggle--financially and mentally. We are muddling through. But see, I don't want to 'muddle' through. I want to be able to be content. I want to be able to realize that all I really need in this life is first and foremost my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Then Web, AJ, my family, my health, etc. So what if I can't go shopping for clothes I really don't need this week. So what if things are tight right now. We have a brand new house, food in our bellies, and the love for each other that is undying. THAT is what I need to focus on. If I focus on what is important, then ya know what? All of those menial things will work themselves out. It sounds so easy reading it as I type it, but for me, this seems like a daunting task (have I mentioned I'm a pessimist?) I know my life is good...I just need to realize how good it really is and just stop and reflect on it.
Can I be content in 2008? I sure hope so..........